I’m about to throw a little Funk into your financial framework. (And yes I can capitalize that because I am a little Funk. 5’0″ of Funk to be exact.)
Well, I got good news…..and I got bad news.
The good news. Your money Funk has very little to do with the dollar amount in your bank account.
The bad news. Your money Funk is most likely all about you.
Here’s the deal-i-o.
If you want to change your finances, you have to change YOU.
Literally.
If you are playing yo-yo with your cash and credit cards you will never get out of your Funk and get ahead.
You know just like the third break up in a row that ended exactly the same way……That left you thinking, what in the world is the deal?
Just like THE entire day I dieted and still didn’t lose my five extra pounds.
I’m sorry to have to tell you this. I’d totally hold your hand and look you in the eye with compassion as I told you this if we were in person together.
But uh, yeah, It’s totally you.
You are the one that is allowing wrong decisions to be made with your finances. You are the one who is not demanding an appropriate and reasonable relationship with your money.
You are the one that wants your finances different but then agree with your husband that you should go out and buy a new truck because he wants one even though you were just complaining that the bills seem to suffocate and you’re sick of not feeling like you have the money to do anything fun. THEN, you even get excited about it and convince him he needs to buy the luxury package.
Oh and you, you are not off the hook just because you don’t feel like starting another argument discussion with your wife about the $200 Target trips every week and the $300 Macy’s bill when you agreed to work on getting debt paid off. It’s you that doesn’t allow her the ability to be fully involved in the finance process so she rebels doesn’t do what you told her.
And you…. You’re lonely. So instead of paying off debt and building up your savings you go treat yourself to dinner and a shopping trip involving nice jewelry instead of facing the real issue going on inside of you.
I’ve totally been there by the way. That peridot cross necklace was beautiful. I even used the most lamented response ever to the sales associate when she asked if it was for something special, “I work hard and I deserve to buy myself something nice.” Wow.
It’s amazing that I spent years incurring small debts, saving trivial amounts, and putting away slightly anything for retirement isn’t it.
Oh….Yeah…..no that’s pretty obvious what was happening there.
Eventually I did have to fix me. Eventually you’ll have to fix you too.
It won’t always be easy to deal with the discussion instead of the debt. It’s won’t always be easy to deal with the emotions you are trying to fill with your new piece of jewelry. And it won’t always be easy to deal with the pouting husband that didn’t get what he wanted as you gently remind him of your mutual dreams and goals for your life together.
But it can be done. You have to start being honest about the decisions your making if you want to be elsewhere.
You have to walk away from financial mistakes of the past and start walking forward to your financial successes of the future.
Come on, I’ll meet you at the fork in the road and we’ll walk together.
What’s your fork that keeps looping you back in the same financial circle? Let’s talk about it in the comments. I bet I’ve been there too.
I followed your link over from Hubpages! My major financial problem is that when I get some extra money, I hurry up and pay off a bunch of stuff until I’m completely broke and freaking out about how I don’t know if I’ve spent too much and I’m fixing to overdraft…can you tell I’m going through this right now? We got our tax refund and everything went to smart stuff (for the most part) and right now, I have $354 in there. Well…I wrote a check for savings yesterday for $400. Although I’m waiting on a credit for $240 to go through (I convinced myself that I needed to buy my own domain and do the web hosting and all that…shortly after, I called for a refund). I just have to hope that everything will work out because I don’t have any extra to put toward that account. Plus my state refund (which I was hoping would be a jumpstart to doing once a month grocery shopping) may have to come in and dig me out of the hole….gosh!!
Oh you are so not alone Amber.
This would have been a perfect one for Free Finance Advice Friday that comes out later today!
Go find a Dollar Store calender and get to organizing ALL of your bills. Then write in where you are pulling your grocery money, where you are pulling gas money All that needs to go in. Set up your savings as automatic as you get those paychecks to draw out on the same day as your paycheck hits.
You can do this. You just haven’t found the perfect system that works for you. It sounds like you need a no nonsense simple plan. Don’t over complicate your finances. I personally still use an excel spreadsheet I made myself and a free checkbook register you can get at any bank.
Have questions? submit them in Work With Trish (at the bottom) for next weeks Free Finance Advice Friday.
I followed you from the MTM mixer. I have the credit card problem right now. I use them to pay monthly bills to earn rewards, but I find it’s way too easy to put things on credit cards, and I’m way overspending each month. I need to just put them away until I’ve got the budget under control again!
It’s so true. Psychologically it’s just not real money.
You are speaking to me…I always fall into a trap of saying…I work soooo hard. I deserve to not have to make dinner tonight…My husband does the same thing and I feel like we flush a TON of money away on consumables then in the end we have nothing to show for it!
You have to figure out at some point that you do work too hard. You work too hard to not have something real, and tangible to show for it at the end of they day.
When we are stuck in the spending and excusing away behavior we continue to be slaves to our bank account. It’s a cycle that leaves us with no real freedom and no peace.
I agree with you, but it’s hard to change the habit. Great post on a great subject!
Yes, a lot of times bad habits are a large part of the problem. Life can deal some nasty blows, but how you respond can make or break you. If you have the wrong habits, it could prove disastrous! I know a couple people who can never get ahead, no matter how much money they make. As soon as they have any extra cash, it’s gone shortly after they get it.
You have to figure out your “pay off”. No one continues in habits which harm, without a pay off. For mort of us, when we KNOW that there is no money in the “fun money/eating out fund, but we go out anyway” it’s the momentary pay off of “not having to do dishes or worry about what to cook or waiting for dinner – because we are STARVING”. So, get a much larger goal! Do whatever you need to. Set a goal and then track your progress every month (every week if you need to). When you begin to see your bank account inch toward that goal, it will motivate you to stay away from things which give you momentary relief, but no real internal satisfaction. Believe me, living on a budget and sleeping well at night is MUCH more satisfying than eating out too much and purchasing things which we cannot really afford.
Such a perfect point Hope. Love the comparison of eating out compared to financial security.