So today was a really great day. I had my last few days of 2nd grade math groups which is incredibly rewarding for any normal operating adult who loves to hear the phrase…. I…… don’t….. Know….. (usually in an incredibly whiny voice) over questions like what is 9+5.
It’s second grade people! Suck. It. Up. And then find your fingers like the rest of us still do!
That was followed by a meeting I forgot about at 10:30 that happened to be exactly what I needed as my great friends and accountability partners assured me that I actually am completely delusional in this point in my life.
I thank Jesus for them. No really I do!
I called the clinic to find out if we are actually casting my 8 year olds arm and if he can play his baseball game on Thursday (which is all he really cares about).
Which just happens to be the last big fundraiser of the school year that I am in charge of. The same night both boys have baseball games at different times and the same day that I have to pick up 35 rotisserie chickens at 4pm. The same day that they scheduled my invalid (I use that term in the most affectionate way.) husband to have his stitches removed three weeks post operation to rebuild what will hopefully operate as heels.
I also dug four holes for the pier blocks that will help create our new wheelchair ramp for my husband to actually be able to exit the house in a way that doesn’t involve oak stumps and plywood. (Because we’re classy like that!)
We had dinner and I went out and mosquito sprayed an entire acre of incredibly overgrown lawn to make sure it was ready on Saturday for a birthday party we have no business of throwing for our 10 year old.
All of that is completely inconsequential in this story because what actually happened…. happened next…..
I tipped you off to Biggest Boys 10th birthday party…..
Everyone will be here. Gimpy can get onto the porch. I’ve enlisted extra help to bbq hot dogs and hamburgers. There should be nothing that could go horribly wrong… right?
Enter one idea!
Said one 10 year old…..We should have an epic water balloon fight!
Incredibly idiotic momma….Yes! That would be awesome!
I decided in my utmost intelligent mindset that we needed kiddy pools to house these water balloons. We could strategically place said pools on three corners of the house so kids could reload on the necessities.
The problem is that even in California at the first week in May, NO ONE HAD KIDDY POOLS!
After seeing zero and 4 phone calls I gave the local Walmart a try. After being on hold for exactly 16 minutes I was informed that they did have 3 pools that were bigger, she didn’t look at the price but they were flying off the shelves and that wasn’t an item they would receive shipment of every day.
Well I did what any irrational, overly exhausted momma would do.
I drove directly to that walmart and parked right in that garden section.
I found kiddy pools. One variety exactly. With steps and a slide.
Priced at $37.
I’m not saying that’s too much for a kiddy pool. Honestly I haven’t priced one in a while but I was out of my budget to spend over a hundred dollars on pools to house water balloons.
But do you know who loves a good water slide? Our ducks. We have two exactly and at that moment in perfect intuition that was all that mattered.
We went inside. Found blow up baby pools for $7 and bought our three.
But how could we let our two sweet ducks go without a new pool with a slide?
To be fair one of the ducks isn’t even sweet. He’s a total Jack you know what. Every time you walk away from him he chases you like he’s going to try to bite your butt. I know this because I’ve actually watched him bite our dogs butt a number of times. And I’ve turned around just in time to see him slow his pace and turn abruptly to the left very nonchalantly.
So we bought these jerks a pool. Thankfully we took the long way home using only backroads so there would be no issue with an overloaded kiddy pool in the back of a full size pick up that doesn’t quite fit.
Because we are brilliant like that!
We were 2/3rds of the way home!
Everything was looking good. I neared one of the last major intersections. Should I turn left up Shasta View or continue on Victor? Green light straight ahead.
Green means go.
I’m going straight!
Oh Sh…… Light turned yellow…… Oh sh….. Light turned red as I’m halfway through the intersection.
I turn my head from side to side in a complete panic that there is a cop waiting at one side of the intersection or the other. About the third time from left to right I notice it…..
Don’t you worry about that little feller it’s not a cop…
That would be a kiddy pool with slide and steps with three inflatable blow up pools in the middle with a rake and a grading tool and a few pieces of lumber in the middle (since I figured all of that would help to anchor it better than nothing) flying through the air as my husbands truck went too fast over the bump in the middle of the intersection.
That was me. My boys screaming…. Oh No! Not the duck pool!
Me screaming. Shut up. Stay still and act normal. (Because, apparently I thought we were worried about a drug bust or something.)
Two amazing guardian angels were already in the street picking up my things.
A rattled gentleman pulled in behind me that apparently had been accosted by said kiddy pool but assured me no harm was done to his vehicle. Although then his side mirror would no longer work. I promised him I would replace said mirror and he seemed to soften to me and took my business card with my number.
If he doesn’t call I owe him a dutch bros or something because let’s face it… That had to be a terrifying event for him.
As I returned home to share with my husband one of the most terrifying things that had ever happened to me he just shook his head and wheeled himself right off, muttering under his breath…. “Was pretty sure something was going to go wrong with that endeavorer….”
Really?!? He didn’t have faith from the beginning? Honestly, what could have possible gone wrong?
And by that I mean. There is no way he could have predicted that an entire kiddy pool, rake, grading tool, three blow up baby pools still in boxes, and random wood particles could have possible ended up all over Victor Ave.
I’m just saying….
So we lived to see another day.
Please pray for Kiddy Pool Accosted Guy that he doesn’t develop whiplash, or PTSD, or finds 40 new scratches on his already scratched car.
And Thank Jesus for my heavenly angels that were picking up my random crap before they even understood what was happening. I owe them two dutch bros because they are amazing people who just care about others.
So how was your day today? I’d love to know…..